Andrew (Andy) Pagana

Two different times today, from two different people, I have been called Superman. Thanks Tom. Thanks Andrew. (Who also added, “Well, it’s true then”)

 

You know me well.

Posted By AndyFan: No, we aren’t getting larger. Ok, we are, but that’s not what I mean. So what if we put on a few pounds? Shouldn’t we take a part in the glut that we deserve as we reap the spoils of internet stardom? Our list of green room demands are short, but we are still a little bit jaded by infamy. We want freezer cold M&Ms in our dressing rooms, and none of those blue ones. Take those little effers out. Who came up with blue? They say it was based on buyer surveys. Really? You were selling 1 trillion and 1 M&Ms a day, you needed a survey to tell you that no gives a rats tooshy what color they are, yet somehow some lame brain said, uh, I’ld like blue. Who cares what color they are? They taste like M&Ms and that is all that matters. Although the dark brown-light brown combo was always a little confusing. Why two browns? Was it just the mix of all the left over dyes? I never favored the light browns. I did eat them first, so I could savor the “better” ones (everything but the light brown ones). Kind of like those yummy black and white cookies you can get in New York City. I always eat the chocolate side first, because I like the white side better and want to savor it. Sometimes I’ll even eat the chocolate side in two bites, just to get to the white side. Is it strange that I call it the chocolate side and the white side. What flavor is the white side? It’s not vanilla. What the hell is it? Is it just the sugar side? I don’t care it’s the better side.

Well, I am obviously too consumed with food (consumed too much food?), I totally forgot what this post was about. Oh yeah. We hired an intern. Well, we use the word “hire” with the broadest definition possible. He works for us. We throw food at him now and again (he gets the blue ones after they bounce off of his forehead). His name isn’t Bridge, but we call him that. He is our video grunt. He posts the videos around here. Sometimes he checks in on the cattle as well. We plan on having more videos, so we needed someone to get the info from YouTube.com onto WordPress. You would think it would be easier, but apparently it isn’t, otherwise we wouldn’t waste the blue ones on some video grunt (we would make moderen art with them if you must know). So welcome Bridge, the AndyPagana.com video grunt.

Oh, Andy, I hired an intern. Read above for the details.

Why does that word look so strange when written? ‘Barrow’? That can’t be right. yet, it is…

But Andyfan won’t post it for me and only he can! Pffff. He was busy working on some other dude’s webthinggy! Nice, Andyfan! nice.

An innocent night out in Hollywood and along came this girl with the owl tattoo. Why are they out to get me?

Busy, kid. I’ve been busy. Will be back soon.

Posted by AndyFan: The hours between 11PM and 4AM are typically our most productive here at AndyPagana.com. For one, everyone has finally left us alone. We don’t like being lonely, but somma-da-times it is the only being that allows us to work freely. Andy likes to work freely. A little too freely if you ask AndyFan (yep, third person again) but Andy does not care what AndyFan thinks. AndyFan’s issue is that Andy likes to work in the buff. This would not be a problem, as AndyFan is many miles away from Andy at any given moment (stupid restraining order), except for the fact that Andy likes to announce what he is doing and how he is doing it, naked. Being right before bedtime, it is hard (ok Andy, stop laughing) for AndyFan to get the image of the plastic covered sofa sticking to Andy out of his head. It’s right there, the image in his mind that ruins AndyFan’s day. He tries to blink but it will not go away. I fear saying any more will either incite stalkers (sickos) or drive away fellow fans (i.e., those who do not want to see him naked, only see the fruits of his naked labors [ok, now you can laugh Andy]) so I will leave it at that. But as for the good ideas, many of our ramblings begin, and often end, in the wee hours of the morning, naked or clothed. We have no real staff (stupid cheap investors) to let us know the next day if our musings are worthy of posting, so we just post them. So far we think we have been spot on. This stuff is funny. But like a bad hangover, we do sometimes wake up with a  headache and wonder, what was I laughing at last night? Was it worth it? Will I regret it later in the day? Does anyone else know? Did anyone else hear me? Why does my ass hurt? Oh, because I fell off my chair and hit the corner of the table. Maybe I should have stopped this one a few minutes ago. Oh well, can’t win them all. Goodnight.

Those of you who are loyal readers of this blog (and that should be ALL of you) know that I have an issue with owls because they are trying to get me. They had disappeared for a while. My anxiety level had dropped. I thought they had left me alone.

And then I come into work two days ago and find this sitting on the desk of one of the new animators.

LOOK AT IT!!!!

LOOK HOW VICIOUS AND EVIL IT IS!!!!

And that’s just the beginning. Now there’s two owls at my work!! I can feel them lurking. They’re just not going to leave me alone. Until I am dead, I know it.

Posted By AndyFan: Little known fact, our fearless leader is full of little known facts. He is full of many other things too, but we have so much time and space to get to that. Little known and useless facts are one of Andrew’s hobbies. How to fill his windshield wiper fluid or stretch a canvas, not a clue. What George Warshingten wore for pajamas the night before the crossing of the Delaware, just ask Andy. (I think he said they were of the plaid variety, but I sometimes think he is making this all up. I am not even sure if I am real any more.) Andy is so topped to the brim with useless facts (he does like a good useless facts hat with a wide brim after all) that it comes as a pleasant, albeit startling, surprise when he in fact udders a useful and pertinent fact. Especially one in which the resolution to a computer problem is concerned. I don’t mean the resolution of an image on a computer, he still has difficulty with that. I mean the type of resolution that keeps him from calling me at 3 AM to yell at me about why his computer does not work. As with the cattle I am most often of no use (I type on these things, how the hell do I know how it works. hit a, you get an a. Shift a and you get a capital a, like this—A). Since he has had me working on this blog I have been very tired. There is so much research that goes into AndyPagana.com. So I have not been “available” to answer all of his calls. So it is a shocking surprise when I get my voicemail at 3:07 AM and he has relayed a message of udder despair about his dead computer and I call him to try and help. Oddly, he answers in a very calm and tranquil tone (ok, that just sounded good, but did anyone buy it?) and he has figured out the solution. Impressed I asked what he did. I plugged it in he says.