Andrew (Andy) Pagana

Posted By AndyFan: Andy has a friend named Moira. He can’t stand her. But he won’t tell her this. He is just too nice of a guy. He should just throw her to the curb, but Andy has morals. Or morsals, I get all confused when I am hungry. He will not say it like it is to her. Moira does not own or use a computer, at least not a personal computer like the fancy ones we write on here at AndyPagana.com (there is no we people, it’s just Andy and me and there is nothing fancy about our operation), so I feel as though I am at liberty to discuss his utter frustration and near hatred for Moira. She is a stupid beeotch. That felt good to get off my chest. You don’t know how many times I have been on the phone with Andy and she interupts. It would be one thing if it were for a worthy or noble cause. And I am not even talking an Andy cause. I would be willing to be interrupted for any cause. Andy will argue this, but at least something good coming from Moira opening her stupid mouth would be a positive. I don’t mean to be mean, but yeah I do. She sucks. Everytime I call, ok, everytime he calls me, we are interupted by Moira, who will in a matter of moments destroy everything Andy worked on that day by leading him down the wrong path. I get mad at her but he won’t tell her. So I am putting it out there. Out there for the world to hear and witness. Don’t talk to Moira. First off, it’s as if she doesn’t hear a word you say. Second, she just doesn’t care. If you accept her into your life you will be on her time, following her around until you are simply lost and at your wits’ end. That’s when you call me. If you were Andy that is. I ain’t giving all you people my phone number.

All day long I swear it was Friday. But apparently it’s Monday.

I did that today and had to leave the office.

Posted By AndyFan: Always, I mean never, call Andy by his last name only.

Mr. Pagana, I will be calling you shortly. Sénior AndyFan

I am on a first name basis with the world. And you have known me long enough to know that it is not Pagana’s daily lesson, it is Andy’s daily lesson. If you want to use my last name add a damn ‘Mr’. in front of it. As in Mr. Pagana, which until further notice is now what you must call me in private times.

Posted By AndyFan: In response to my not picking up the celephone yet again, Andy kindly jumped in to remind me:

“Dammit, it’s a cellphone, you can take it with you!”

Posted By AndyFan: Yes ladies and gentleman (I use that latter phrase loosely, I have seen our male fan base), AndyFan is back. I don’t want to give away any surprises but my absence was due in part to planning our summer features. I have been collecting material from my resources (I say my because Andy doesn’t share his resources with me, keeps telling me to get my own donut) and will be posting some fun (would they be anything else?) items over the next two months, maybe even longer if my resources are better at sending me stuff than I am about keeping up with this blog. I would promise not to let you or Andy down (really, this all for Andy, I don’t even know you people) but I have made promises before and come up short, especially with Andy. So no prmoises. Makes my life easier. And second to amusing Andy, that is my primary concern, keeping my life easy, hence why I have been absent. Oh, wait, that was because I was traveling the globe in search of the history that is known of Andy. The world needs to know his history. He keeps telling me he is historical. Or was it hysterical? Oh crap. I really gotta get back in the swing of things.

The owls seem to have left me alone. Are they lurking? I don’t think so. I feel safe.

Posted By Andyfan: It is not that I haven’t talked to Andy, I have quite a bit actually. The problem that I am assuming is that there is something wrong with the cattle. Usually Andy will tell me all about the cattle when it directly relates to me, for which, as I have said, I am typically of no use to him. When the problem with the cattle is outside my very limited scope of herd knowledge, he will make a comment or two but there is little I can do so he just deals as best he can (not always that well, but he tries). You see the less there is wrong with the cattle the more I hear about it. Minor issues. This heifer doesn’t listen when I prod it, that heifer doesn’t even flinch when I prod it, things like that. They are cattle. They don’t always do what he wants. When the cattle are sick I will hear it in his voice, but he won’t say anything, because the problem is bigger then he and I (even together we are not as big as a steer, though we have bigger balls). So, as I have been completely unaware of the state of the cattle, I have to assume that something is particularly wrong with the cattle, that the entire herd is not behaving as it should. Maybe that explains his lack of new stories. I have no excuse for mine.

The damn computer place never called to tell me what is wrong with my computer and I have been too overwhelmed to think of something worth talking about.