Does Anyway Remember Book 6

Posted by AndyFan: Seriously. Do any of you? The owls. Does anyone see the correlation? I mean THE OWLS. Who the hell forgot about the owls? They  run the first four chapters. OK, three of the first four chapters. They may go even further but I am only up to chapter five. Even I forgot about the owls until I read it again. But still. How could we ALL forget the owls? How many times have we read book six? Maybe not as often as book two, or one if you are a purist. But if you are a purist you probably don’t know what I am talking about. Or only know half of what I am talking about. But at the very least you should know about the owls. The effing owls. Where is Andy?

I Couldn’t Give Two Hoots

Posted by AndyFan: Four of the little effers. And I got em all. It’s like they are multiplying. I keep seeing them everywhere. And not on my long walks in the middle of the night through prince infested forests. I mean everywhere. Tattoos are nothing, these effers are starting to scare me too.

Screw Jack, Where’s Andy?

Posted by AndyFan: So they have returned. To make it worse, I haven’t heard from Andy in quite some time now so I am a little worried about the situation (no, not that idiot who hangs out with Pauly Shore). I know, you have heard this all before. But seriously people, if we all worried about Andy a little more often he would feel better and then we wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. (Wait! That’s not right. Oh balls.) So either they got him or he must be very busy carving scars into the flesh of Hollywood. I mean typically he would call just to complain that I wasn’t using his name enough in my posts, I mean Andys’ name in my posts (had I been writing posts for him these past few months). But I haven’t heard hide nor feather from him, I mean Andy, in weeks. I refuse to believe he, I mean Andy, is just lying low and remaining silent (yes Andy, the earth just laughed for you). Even if he, Andy, was carousing with some guys, I would think we would here about it. Since we all know he, Andrew, can’t remain quiet this long, and why would he as he, Andy, has so much to share, I can only come to one conclusion, there is snow in my wardrobe and the owls have returned.

I say this because, well, the owls have returned. I have seen not one, but two new hooters in recent weeks. And the old funny looking one never left. So that’s not one, not two, but three owls sightings. To quote my six year old cousin when she heard the Jonas Brothers were retiring, WTF!! Do I really need three owls floating around at the same time. Yes, they float. Have you ever seen one fly? Me neither. Have you ever seen owl prints on the ground? Me neither. Thus, owls float. It is quite logical. Levitate from trees, actually. Can spin their heads around 360 degrees too. Which is hot. I mean a lot. Freaks me out every time I see them do it. Which would be three at this point.

So my fear is that they have captured Andy (what else would owls flying around California do this time of year) and have him strung up in some meat locker in a constant state of anxiety. In order for the world to not find out, the West Coast owls (they are very persuasive) have sent letters to the East Coast owls (no, via the US Postal Service, you people watch too many movies) and arranged the immediate capture of yours truly, AndyFan (I guess you knew who I was already, sorry). But you see, I am not going to have it. I was taught years ago what to do with stray random owls making a move on innocent victims. Shoot em. No, no, no. Not with a gun. That is illegal in most states (or maybe it’s legal, but it sounds terribly messy). I mean take their picture. Shot em with a camera. It disorients them. You don’t even need a flash. Their piercing eyes can actually see the shutter as you take the picture. For some reason it stops them from blinking. Which stops them from putting helpless bloggers in a trance. Which keeps the hope alive that one day I can get outta Warshingten fast and find our fearless, though maybe hogtied by ravenous owls (can that be?), hanging-from-a-hook-hero.

The FU@#!ING Evil Owls are back!!!

Okay. True story. I was beginning to think that maybe I should take it easy on owls. I was actually coming around. Not sure why. My forgiving nature I suppose. I mean, I haven’t felt haunted by them lately. In fact, they’ve all but left me alone. I started to think “Maybe I miss understood them. Maybe they are serving a positive purpose in my life”. I almost wrote a post that gave them a little bit of credit. 

And then BOOM! 

They’re back. They’re back, haunting me in ways I cannot even begin to tell you. 

And so, last night I go to The Echo Park Film Festival to see my buddy Robert Beaucage’s short film ‘Resonance’. It was a pleasant enough experience until I was looking for an exit and found myself in the water closet and came face to face with a GIANT, EVIL LOOKING OWL piercing me with it’s eyes. Look at how creepy it is. Who can relax enough to do their business long enough with this omen of death.

They’re back. And it seems they’re not fu@#!ing around!

Owls Owls everywhere…

An innocent night out in Hollywood and along came this girl with the owl tattoo. Why are they out to get me?

The Damn Owls are Back!!!!!!!

Those of you who are loyal readers of this blog (and that should be ALL of you) know that I have an issue with owls because they are trying to get me. They had disappeared for a while. My anxiety level had dropped. I thought they had left me alone.

And then I come into work two days ago and find this sitting on the desk of one of the new animators.

LOOK AT IT!!!!

LOOK HOW VICIOUS AND EVIL IT IS!!!!

And that’s just the beginning. Now there’s two owls at my work!! I can feel them lurking. They’re just not going to leave me alone. Until I am dead, I know it.

Oh… By The Way…

The owls seem to have left me alone. Are they lurking? I don’t think so. I feel safe.

Owls are evil

Seriously, I just need to say it again. They are evil, evil evil.

What a day for a post

Okay… I had every intention of writing a nice little post this morning, until I read Andyfan’s first post about the owl that is following him. Don’t be so sure it’s plastic Andyfan… they’re damn tricky. Anyway, this threw my entire day off. Damn! I need to respond to this. They’re out to get me I’m sure. And now they’re looking at places I will try to hide from them in the future. They’re already there. So, I was shaken by this news and thought of how to deal with it. Maybe if I ignore the owl it will go away. So I left my computer on assignment to take some photographs for a job I am doing. (Yes, I do work). And as I was photogging the objects of my attention, a chill ran up my spine and VIOLA!

 This was directly behind me, on a table, staring right at my back. Eyeing me. Watching me. Warning me. Of what, I do not know.

It through me into a whirl. I got light headed. Dizzy. Anxious. I left the dwelling and headed out onto the highway where I was scattered and nervous. Feelings ran through me I cannot describe. And as I pulled off the exit I stopped at a light and looked over and saw this sign… and by sign I mean sign as in Omen. It just happens to be that the sign is, itself, two signs…

What the??? Look at this. Can you see what I’m seeing? There is only one way for me to go… the WRONG WAY!!! Now, before you think I’m reading too much into this, I need you to… well… Okay… I can’t continue here because you’re just not ready for what I have to say here. But God has spoken to me in signs before, VERY RARELY, but it has happened. IS this a sign from him, to me, about my life? I can’t say. And it’s not because I don’t know, it’s because, well, I already said why. You’re not ready. Trust me. You’re not. I’ll get into it one day, Im sure. If I make it to one day. We’ll see. 

Needless to say, I was fascinated by this sign of signs. It reminded me of a similar sign I got last weekend, that I haven’t shared as I do not yet have the photo in my possession. When I get it, I will share it. But it changed me. Really changed me. There is something happening in the secret and hidden worlds around me that I cannot explain. When I returned to my place of business I received what appears to be good news and went out with my coworkers to celebrate at Bob’s Big Boy. And look…

I posed for one of my belly pictures at the suggestion of a loyal reader of this blog. Good job fan! Good job! This was a turning point in the day as I bared my barrel for the world. (You’re welcome.) Which reminds me.. there will be more belly photos coming soon, both classic and new.

I spend the rest of the day reeling from the events. So finally I read Andyfan’s newest post, which, although I appreciate his sentiments, spent too little time talking about me. It’s good to know I am all over his computer, but I do not need to know if he has a great Auntie Rosie. That’s too much information going the wrong way. Yet the message is as true as can be. I too am tired of being questioned about Andy Pagano. Andy whaaa??? That’s not even a real name or product. Learn to spell, google!! And come to think of it, I hate when I am asked a question and there is no place to answer. Just a bunch of bull…! I think all rhetorical questions should be abolished, don’t you.?!! And yes, I do like things simple, which so far this interweb thing has not been. (I’m not sure what gmail is but I am certain that I am cool for NOT playing it.) I give Andyfan a B+ for the two-post effort but have to take points away for mention the unmentionable. – “Minority Report”. It makes me shutter as much as Owls. 

Now, I have lost my train of though so I end transmission.

In My Other Life

Posted by AndyFan: Yes, I have another life. I won’t talk about it here, because, well, this is Andy’s life and what’s that got to do with my other life? I will just say that I have been consumed with all sorts of who knows what in this other life. Basically things that keep me away form Andy, which makes Andy sad. And when he gets sad, Serious Andy sends out Angry Andy and the two of them conspire to confuse me and my other life. In the end I feel bad because I have been ignoring Andy, and ignoring Andy is always bad. I repeat, ignoring Andy is very, very bad.

I often wonder if this is like a comic book, and I am Andy’s sidekick. So, while I know his private Bruce Wayne to your public Andy Pagana, I don’t know who the hell I am in this other life, because who remembers Robin’s name when he isn’t Robin. Is it Dick something? Really, who came up that name. They don’t have enough working against them with the whole tights thing that they couldn’t go with a more manly name. My apologies to all Richards out there, but don’t shorten it and expect to not get a chuckle. But then I remember that Andy is more Superman than Batman. So I can’t even be old Alfred, waiting on him hand and foot. Superman doesn’t have an accomplice, I mean assistant. Though I do believe that Andy would let me be his Alfred and forgo the rules of Superman if I waited on him hand and foot.

I have so far not been able to not talk about my other life in this post about my other life and how I shouldn’t talk about it here. But there is good Andy reason for this. I found kryptonite. Yesterday I was in my local Hall of Books and was looking through a free donation bin. A little girl walked up and handed me a book, about OWLS!! I am not quite sure what to do. At first I thought Andy was just being paranoid, we’ll cover Paranoid Andy later, this is already longer than it needs to be. But then I thought, if I open the book, it may be like Pandora’s Bo(x)ok and the owls would then be after me. So I ditched the book under the back seat of my car and forgot about it. I didn’t even tell Andy.

So in my other life, the one I shouldn’t talk about here, I went on a business trip today and traveled to New York City. I was getting ready to leave when I looked out and was stunned. Amidst all the AC vents and odd workings of the buildings was an owl. An effing OWL! It was the same color as the rusty vents, hiding there watching me as I went about my morning. It wasn’t real, and I didn’t have a camera to prove this sighting, but I swear this happened. The owl was real, just not alive. In case that wasn’t clear. It was a warning, to who I don’t know. There was a squirrel ten feet away and a pigeon on the owl’s head. I don’t know what else the owl would scare away, except Andy, who I oddly have not heard from at all today. Please tell me someone has spoken to Andy today.