The Spirit of Andy Compels Me
Posted by AndyFan: OK, I know Andy may be all tied up right now, and he has his own hooters to deal with, but I thought I would give in to “sis” for a moment and change the tone with a little rant. OK, a big rant. Who the abc’ing bleep is efd’ing Ines Sainz? Simon says go the eff away. I hope for Andy’s sake that this story has not made it to California and is simply an East Coast post game hangover mistake, but if it has people—COME ON NOW! Is it because she is hot? Really? Is that why we have made this news? And I don’t mean in the oh-I-get-it-it’s-a-mass-appeal-tabloid-story-kind-of-non-news-story-story. I mean it in the what-the-effing-eff-are-we-talking-about-here-story? For the uninitiated and Andy, if he happens to be hanging around a tele to watch, Miz Ines Sainz is a Mexican sports reporter. Before this week I would have taken that to mean a Mexican soccer fan, (a Mexican Football fan for the unamerican), but it urns out Mexico actually has a reason to have a blond, bootilicious, big-breasted, bombshell sports reporter. I haven’t figured out just yet why that is, but they have one. All that aside I am so mad right now I am not even going to get into the fact that she expects to be taken seriously wearing what she does. At least seriously at what she does for a living. And for all you feminists, I feel the same way about so-called business men in short sleeved button down business shirts. Well not the same way, but I don’t take them seriously. For gods sake man, put on a sleeve or two. But I drift.
OK, so earlier this week Ines caused an uproar in the New York Jets camp (they play football Andy, the American kind, I’ll explain it below) when she declared she was offended at the treatment she received when she entered the locker room to interview somebody who does something on the team. Now in order for this to be a story someone had to report on it. There in lies my rant.
What the effing bloody eff are we talking about here people? Ines was harassed about her ass by a bunch of men who throw around dead pigs and pile on top of each other in large groups. If it wasn’t a horrible vision to call that borderline primal erotic behavior, I would say it out loud. What exactly did she think was going to happen when she entered the locker room wearing booty pants that would make Beyonce blush? Apparently outside on the field players threw out of bounds passes so they could run by the Mexican enchantress. Throwing passes is now harassment? In football? Out of bounds or not, I would think the Jets could stand to complete some passes. She is lucky they didn’t pile on top of her right there on the field. We are talking two steps from Neanderthals here. They run into each other for sport. Even animals in the wild have made that kind of behavior politically incorrect. If this was ancient Rome the only cat calls heard would be the lions pouncing on the gladiators. In fact, if this were ancient Rome it wold be the equivalent of Marcus Tumnus the gladiator walking past the lions cages below the arena with a big old gaping cut down his arm dripping blood and having the food deprived lions growling at him. Then upon coming onto the field having the lions swarm him because they liked what they smelled down below. To top it of, the great Ceaser would call the gladiator to apologize for the lions behavior, as they should have known better. Holy shit my head hurts.
There are three possible outcomes of this story. One, Andy has yet to hear of Ines Sainz and is pissed I focused on sports as a topic. Two, Andy has heard of Ines and is happy I focused on attacking sports as a topic. Or third, he stopped reading at hooters and is three pages into a Google image search of Ines Sainz as you read this.