Jun 20 2011

HOw Dare YOu!

Posted by AndyFan as Andy was too shocked and dismayed to right this himself: I (read Andy, not AndyFan) went to delete you (you know who you are, you) from Facebook, and you (putz) had already deleted me (read Andy The Awesome). Eff you! Who the effing eff do you think you are, you eff? Eff Off!

Dec 22 2010

Somewhere in Wisconsin

Posted by AndyFan: Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s early people of Wisconsin. Get it together. Line the streets. Make some signs. Don’t lose out like Kansas. Toto will bite you in the ass come Christmas. Let Andy know you love him. He won’t be in town long. Once he deals with his cattle, he is outta there. Off to Detroit. One last attempt to rectify the mistake that Ford will forever regret.

Sep 21 2010

Totally Distracted

Posted by AndyFan: I have no idea who Bill is or why he is fighting in the Revolutionary War (dude, we won, unless you are British in which case you lost and we kicked your ass), but conspirator or not, I am all ears “sis.”  So who is coming to this conference? Don’t worry, I’ll take pictures for Andy if the evil owls are still interrogating him.

Dec 10 2009

The Spirit of Andy Compels Me

Rated NC-17 because apparently this stuff is very taboo. Posted by AndyFan: What the effing eff is a reimagining? Seriously? Can someone tell me? No, right the eff right effing now? And while you are at it can you explain reboot to my simple little mind? No, really? I don’t get it. A computer gets rebooted. Or a hooker after a nice romp in the sack. I understand the latter but I’m still not sure what the former means. But right now I don’t understand most computer terms except for undo, which should not be proprietary to computers. That my friends should come with real life, imagined or otherwise. However that is another post. Another Compelling post. This one is about the movies that I want deleted before they are even created, I’m sorry, rebooted, recreated, or reimagined as you will. The uncompelling ones. And some that have already been. Undo those effers too.

If you imagine something, you believe it to be. You can then go off and make it so, or just continue to believe, in your own world, happy and content. What exactly does it take to reimagine something. How effing lazy and apathetic are you that you couldn’t hold onto the thought, whether membered or remembered, and know that hey, you or someone else with a better brain than you had that thought already. Maybe it was good the first time. Maybe even better. Maybe you should just leave it the eff alone. Maybe, just maybe, if you got your head out of your arse for just a few effing minutes you might realize that if you have to imagine a few new words that make no sense just so that you have something to talk about what you have just “reimagined” to death, then maybe, just maybe, you might realize where your head is, that that genius idea you had wasn’t quite so much, since you really didn’t have it, someone else did a long long time ago, and they are pissed right now because what was once great, or at the very least compelling, has stink written all over it now. Seriously, where is the undo when you need it? On second thought, hold the explanations. I have already reimagined that you don’t exist. Never did in fact.

Dec 4 2009


Posted by AndyFan: Yes, mind you, we have added another. Not just any kind of tantrum, a TAndytrum. It borders on the obscene. Actually it doesn’t border on it, it lives right smack dab in the middle of it. Like a small Mexican village where drinking the water will just make everything not quite right for weeks on end; where you are not sure if you are the resident or the alien, but you know you shouldn’t stay either way; where the mood is always mellow on the verge of a cataclysmic apocalypse; where you are certain the roads are paved but there is so much dust lying on the ground that you dare not even breath for fear of being choked; where the women all have the look of the virginal exotic local, only to realize that this bar is the crossroads of the west and you just drank the worm at the bottom of the bottle only to wake up with a hangover, a vague understanding of geographic tongue and no one to tell you if you should show your face at work the next day.

Jul 2 2009

The Hyundai Sonata is officially added to my enemy list

In fact, it’s now at the top.

Jun 5 2009

Enemy List – Part 1

The Oil Company

Waitresses who can’t seem to fill my coffee

Idiot California Drivers that don’t know how to drive

Idiot California Drivers that don’t know how to drive in the rain

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