Jun 8 2011

Good Morning Los Angeles!

Posted by AndyFan: That tremor in the force—the one the sent a ripple effect across the eastern seaboard over this past weekend and resulted in a sweltering 102 degree forecast for today—that wasn’t global warming or some mega storm. No. It was Andy. Andrew if you must. From Warshingten to Esopus, our fearless leader laid a path of mayhem up and down the right coast that will cost its citizens countless minutes of untold confusion, especially if you are in the employ of a Dunkin Donuts. Without warning the devastation started days ago. New Jersey will never be the same. On his way out of town he swung by Warshingten to pay me a little encouragement visit. I bid him adieu and felt it was my duty to warn you all.

Los Angeles. Andy should have just landed. We envy your good fortune.

Jun 9 2009

I have a new favorite game

I love diners. But as you know I have a problem with the lack of attention I get at them. So I developed a new game this morning. A game that only works when you pay with credit cards, which I do. See, when I feel I have been wronged at a diner, (and by that I mean I do not get my coffee refilled in a timely manner or do not get my toast WITH my eggs) I am going to give a tip with a random amount of change added to it… for example, instead of giving $2.00, I will give $2.34. BUT I will add it wrong to the tip and walk out before anyone notices. Let them freakin figure it out.

Jun 2 2009

Andyfan, It’s Not That That Stupid Coffee Woman Wasn’t Stupid… (A reference to the last post)

It’s that you are stupid too. Think about it, Andyfan. Think about it. Especially because she only spilled McDonald’s coffee. You let the precious Dunkin go to waste. But thanks for trying.

Jun 1 2009

Greetings From Warshingten!

Posted By AndyFan: Been on the road lately, ala Awesome Andy. Actually, I have been all over the place, but that is nothing new and Andy hates excuses. I did try to make amends for my scattered appearances, but alas, it did not go as planned. You see, I do not run on Dunkin, though there are typically many in my surrounding area. I feel for Andy, as I have for many years been longing for my teenage source of afternoon sustenance, the El Paso Grande Burrito. Apparently I, being a burrito lover, happened upon a short lived market test of El Paso’s prepackaged delicacies way back in 1989 or so. After five months they pulled the plug (apparently too much real meat made the costs prohibitive) and I was left with the measly inadequate lesser versions that had been around prior to the Grande. But this is not about my burrito, it is about my making amends with Andy for something.

So in my travels I found a Dunkin Donuts right off the highway a hundred miles outside Warshingten. I even asked a fellow D&D fan to take my picture, it didn’t come out quite right though. It was a very spur of the moment decision to stop, but seeing as how this Dunkin Donuts had a drive through I thought I would surprise Andy with a cup of coffee. Now, I wasn’t thinking this one through. If you are all keeping track, which you should be, we are many miles apart (whatever judge) and coffee gets cold. Which brings me to where this story really goes down hill.

As I have this revelation I look up and see that an old woman is about to walk in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes. Now, you may all have seen this coming, but the coffee was in my lap and no longer in its cup. I thought that they made a safety lid after that woman scalded herself with the hot coffee at McDonalds years ago but apparently not. Like many others across this great nation that may or may not run on Dunkin depending on where they live, I thought that woman was an idiot when she sued McDonalds. Why would you put hot coffee in your lap when you are driving? That is just stupid. Seeing as how I do not think myself stupid I immediately started to re-evaluate my perception of the stupid coffee woman. I turned around to start my legal battle. Unfortunately though, you can’t sue over someone elses coffee, even if you paid for it. Weird rule that I never knew about, probably came about after that not-so-stupid-afterall woman won the case years back. As this was Andy’s coffee, I was left with burning thighs and no money for my time. Which brings me back to coffee getting cold, but not quick enough. Sorry Andy, I guess it’s back to Vegas for some D&D.

p.s.-Mr. Miles, while I have been away it seems as though you may be trying to eff with Andy. I am watching you Mr. Miles. And if this Mr. Lee shows up, I am watching you too.


May 31 2009

Quit your yappin’ and give me my coffee.

This morning I sat for ten minutes at Mel’s Diner on Ventura in Sherman Oaks and waited for someone to refill my damn coffee. I mean, really… is it that hard to quit yappin with the other waitresses and grab a pot?