Andrew (Andy) Pagana

Posted By AndyFan: Andy would say, why were you gone, but we will let him stew in my return and give me the lashings I deserve. Contrary to rumors being spread through the interweb (thanks Andy) I was in fact not on holiday but out researching and collecting all across this great land of ours. It took some time. I had to work my way from town to town. No literally. I had to work a few days here and a few days there to save enough money to make it to the next town. We don’t really have a budget here at AndyPagana.com so it was kind of a personal project that I felt would enhance the whole Andy Experience (you will not be disappointed, that is an order). In all it was quite an adventure. I labored in an organic farm; did some residential home repair in a damp castle dungeon; helped decorate a mansion overlooking a great valley (still not sure how I got that job); and worked at a day care taking care of toddlers. The most beneficial experience I attained this summer however, was being enlisted in a small but elite group of militia from somewhere between that east and west coast. I am sworn to secrecy on that one. No really, not the Andy-I-am-gonna-tell-the-world-but-they-all-promised-to-keep-their-mouths-shut kind of secrecy (I don’t care if Picasso is dead Andy, it’s still wrong), I am talking the real CIA-I-could-be-killed-if-I-told-you-any-more-than-I-already-have kind of secrecy. It’s really secret kind of secrecy (no, if he wanted those printed he would have left them to Claude). But I am at liberty to tell you about my experiences, so long as I don’t mention names, locations, ranks, or anything that would give away the whereabouts of those little ninjas. It was a loose little outfit that mixed eastern and western warfare tactics. They said I needed to come back for three consecutive boot camps if I wanted to join full time. Not sure why. They kept saying my teeth were too full. Very strange guidelines they go by.

Anyway, I am back and there will be more to come about my military adventures. I was able to dig up some good stuff about our hero while I was enlisted. In fact, I don’t think I would have found a thing if it weren’t for my friends in uniform. I would have been gone a lot longer on my search. Which, by the way, reminds me. Andy, did you lay off videogrunt? I sent him material all summer and he didn’t post a single bit of it. Why is it so hard to get good help? Videogrunt, I am looking for you. You have some splainen to do.

People die. It’s a fact of life. Death, that is. And sometimes, when people die, if they are an artist of one sort or another, they leave behind a lot of unfinished work. Such is the case of my artist friend, Pablo.

He was a very prolific artist, creating more works that can probably ever be counted. He made a decent living at it so he would, it seems, never stop creating. I always admired this about him. That, and all the chicks he managed to score. He was pretty good at that too (for being an old bald guy who loved to wear Russian sailor shirts).

To get back to the point. When he went to dwell with the morning stars, he left behind a lot of unfinished work. And it has been sometimes customary for one artist, who is an admirer or friend of the deceased one, to complete the unfinished pieces. Filmmaker Steven Spielberg finishing Stanley Kubrik’s ‘A.I’. is the one example I can think of at the moment. There are more but I am too tired to go on about it.  If you’re really interested, do some research, you’ll find plenty of examples.

So that leaves me to this… My friend Pablo left a plethora of unfinished drawings to me, many with notes on how to finish them. In some case, there was no note, but, knowing him as well as I do, I can pretty much fill in the blanks. It’s like when you’re so really close to someone you can finish their sandwiches, I mean sentences, before they do. That is the case with me and Pablo. I ate all his sandwiches for him.

Anyway, I completed the first of his unfinished drawings last night. Hopefully, you can’t tell where he started and I ended. I will however, in the cases that Pablo has signed his name, sign my name next to it. That is also in keeping with his wishes. (He didn’t state if I should be first or second, so, because he originated the work, I have afforded him the respect of having his name before mine.) He often told me he “wanted to collaborate on some work” but we never did get the chance. I suppose this will be it. Also, for now, I think I will keep the changes to myself and not divulge what is his and what is his by my hand. That may come later. I will make an exception for this one piece and mention that Pablo had long spoke about putting the bubbles floating from the pipe but never had the courage to do it. Well, Pablo, my friend, I just gave you the courage. Cheers!

Posted By Videogrunt: Hi Sir, AndyFan said you would know what today was and that it should be a great one. I hope this makes sense. I don’t know Sir, AndyFan is kind of confusing. I can’t make sense of what he is doing, He hired me and then took off. I enjoy working for you, you are funny. But he said I can not call you directly. I have to go through him and just wait for orders. Seems to have a lot of rules for the sake of having rules. He said he is on his way back. He did say that the mission was a success and that new material would start again on Monday. In the meantime he said Bert would sing you a song. What ever that means. Should I be singing Sir? He also said to make sure Chris doesn’t lose your keys. The day is very early.

Posted by Videogrunt for AndyFan who phoned it in since he is off doing Who Knows What: We will get into Action Park one day soon, I promise. It may just be the subject of several posts in fact. Even a Spirit of Andy Compells Me. Watching Wipeout last night brought this on. If you don’t know Action Park, well then consider yourself one of the lucky. If you missed Wipeout last night, then you are unfortunate. Not as unfortunate as Andy, he didn’t win $50,000 dollars (I think that was redundant). He has talked about his loathe of sports in the past. We even have a whole category dedicated to it. HE HATES SPORTS! Let this not be mistaken. Do not be fooled by his participation in certain sport-like activities. He loves competition. He will get so side tracked by a good competitive jaunt that he will forget that he is participating in a sport-like activity. But make no mistake, sports he hates. Second to sports, he hates cold water. Wipeout. Wipeout contains them both. And mud. But he likes mud. So long as it is warm. Or body temperature. Either way, it is fine. Cold. No. Andy no like. So in true what the hell was I thinking fashion, Andy showed up for what was dubbed the “Fall Star” Episode of Wipeout. Now you all know I love a good ball joke, but this had us (yes, I am referring to myself in group terms now) on the edge of our seats as we watched in fear that our beloved hero might have found his true kryptonite, COLD WATER SPORTS. But fear not, Andy took that ball by the horn and just pounced on top of it. Using his skills of submersion he slipped past any danger and right into deep blue. Like Arnold in Predator, Andy used the coating of mud to shield himself from his enemy, allowing enough time to get out of the cold water before his defenses were down. And the hat stayed on by the way. Carry on brave hero, carry on.