I’m Back

Posted By AndyFan: Andy would say, why were you gone, but we will let him stew in my return and give me the lashings I deserve. Contrary to rumors being spread through the interweb (thanks Andy) I was in fact not on holiday but out researching and collecting all across this great land of ours. It took some time. I had to work my way from town to town. No literally. I had to work a few days here and a few days there to save enough money to make it to the next town. We don’t really have a budget here at AndyPagana.com so it was kind of a personal project that I felt would enhance the whole Andy Experience (you will not be disappointed, that is an order). In all it was quite an adventure. I labored in an organic farm; did some residential home repair in a damp castle dungeon; helped decorate a mansion overlooking a great valley (still not sure how I got that job); and worked at a day care taking care of toddlers. The most beneficial experience I attained this summer however, was being enlisted in a small but elite group of militia from somewhere between that east and west coast. I am sworn to secrecy on that one. No really, not the Andy-I-am-gonna-tell-the-world-but-they-all-promised-to-keep-their-mouths-shut kind of secrecy (I don’t care if Picasso is dead Andy, it’s still wrong), I am talking the real CIA-I-could-be-killed-if-I-told-you-any-more-than-I-already-have kind of secrecy. It’s really secret kind of secrecy (no, if he wanted those printed he would have left them to Claude). But I am at liberty to tell you about my experiences, so long as I don’t mention names, locations, ranks, or anything that would give away the whereabouts of those little ninjas. It was a loose little outfit that mixed eastern and western warfare tactics. They said I needed to come back for three consecutive boot camps if I wanted to join full time. Not sure why. They kept saying my teeth were too full. Very strange guidelines they go by.

Anyway, I am back and there will be more to come about my military adventures. I was able to dig up some good stuff about our hero while I was enlisted. In fact, I don’t think I would have found a thing if it weren’t for my friends in uniform. I would have been gone a lot longer on my search. Which, by the way, reminds me. Andy, did you lay off videogrunt? I sent him material all summer and he didn’t post a single bit of it. Why is it so hard to get good help? Videogrunt, I am looking for you. You have some splainen to do.