Andrew (Andy) Pagana

The Oil Company

Waitresses who can’t seem to fill my coffee

Idiot California Drivers that don’t know how to drive

Idiot California Drivers that don’t know how to drive in the rain

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Just called me cute AND cuddly. Awwww. Thanks Max. I know. I know…

Posted By AndyFan: Technically this is not a response to his response, at least not his response online. Spent some time on the phone with our fearless leader today and among the many varied and sundry (what is a sundry anyway) things that we discussed, several blatantly stated facts were stated, again.

Fact One: Andy hates excuses, as stated by AndyFan on, well, yesterday, “but that is nothing new and Andy hates excuses.”

I bring this up because as I rattled through the list of reasons that I do not bore you, our faithful followers, with but that Andy asked for as to why I have been absent, Andy remarked, “I hate excuses.” My response was, “don’t you read your blog?”

Fact Two: I have been traveling and all over the place as stated, um, yesterday, “I have been all over the place.”

Andy asked me, what have you been doing? Seriously. I almost started to cry. I thought my words meant something to him, but alas (yes, using alas a lot these days, picked it up outside Warshingten) he seems to skim over my stories, or at least forgets them awfully quick.

Aside from that he does make a good point, I am trying. Many times he says very.

Have you ever seen the shapes of the people getting breakfast at McDonalds in the morning?

It’s that you are stupid too. Think about it, Andyfan. Think about it. Especially because she only spilled McDonald’s coffee. You let the precious Dunkin go to waste. But thanks for trying.

Posted By AndyFan: Been on the road lately, ala Awesome Andy. Actually, I have been all over the place, but that is nothing new and Andy hates excuses. I did try to make amends for my scattered appearances, but alas, it did not go as planned. You see, I do not run on Dunkin, though there are typically many in my surrounding area. I feel for Andy, as I have for many years been longing for my teenage source of afternoon sustenance, the El Paso Grande Burrito. Apparently I, being a burrito lover, happened upon a short lived market test of El Paso’s prepackaged delicacies way back in 1989 or so. After five months they pulled the plug (apparently too much real meat made the costs prohibitive) and I was left with the measly inadequate lesser versions that had been around prior to the Grande. But this is not about my burrito, it is about my making amends with Andy for something.

So in my travels I found a Dunkin Donuts right off the highway a hundred miles outside Warshingten. I even asked a fellow D&D fan to take my picture, it didn’t come out quite right though. It was a very spur of the moment decision to stop, but seeing as how this Dunkin Donuts had a drive through I thought I would surprise Andy with a cup of coffee. Now, I wasn’t thinking this one through. If you are all keeping track, which you should be, we are many miles apart (whatever judge) and coffee gets cold. Which brings me to where this story really goes down hill.

As I have this revelation I look up and see that an old woman is about to walk in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes. Now, you may all have seen this coming, but the coffee was in my lap and no longer in its cup. I thought that they made a safety lid after that woman scalded herself with the hot coffee at McDonalds years ago but apparently not. Like many others across this great nation that may or may not run on Dunkin depending on where they live, I thought that woman was an idiot when she sued McDonalds. Why would you put hot coffee in your lap when you are driving? That is just stupid. Seeing as how I do not think myself stupid I immediately started to re-evaluate my perception of the stupid coffee woman. I turned around to start my legal battle. Unfortunately though, you can’t sue over someone elses coffee, even if you paid for it. Weird rule that I never knew about, probably came about after that not-so-stupid-afterall woman won the case years back. As this was Andy’s coffee, I was left with burning thighs and no money for my time. Which brings me back to coffee getting cold, but not quick enough. Sorry Andy, I guess it’s back to Vegas for some D&D.

p.s.-Mr. Miles, while I have been away it seems as though you may be trying to eff with Andy. I am watching you Mr. Miles. And if this Mr. Lee shows up, I am watching you too.