I am on a first name basis with the world. And you have known me long enough to know that it is not Pagana’s daily lesson, it is Andy’s daily lesson. If you want to use my last name add a damn ‘Mr’. in front of it. As in Mr. Pagana, which until further notice is now what you must call me in private times.
Posted By AndyFan: In response to my not picking up the celephone yet again, Andy kindly jumped in to remind me:
“Dammit, it’s a cellphone, you can take it with you!”
Posted By AndyFan: Yes ladies and gentleman (I use that latter phrase loosely, I have seen our male fan base), AndyFan is back. I don’t want to give away any surprises but my absence was due in part to planning our summer features. I have been collecting material from my resources (I say my because Andy doesn’t share his resources with me, keeps telling me to get my own donut) and will be posting some fun (would they be anything else?) items over the next two months, maybe even longer if my resources are better at sending me stuff than I am about keeping up with this blog. I would promise not to let you or Andy down (really, this all for Andy, I don’t even know you people) but I have made promises before and come up short, especially with Andy. So no prmoises. Makes my life easier. And second to amusing Andy, that is my primary concern, keeping my life easy, hence why I have been absent. Oh, wait, that was because I was traveling the globe in search of the history that is known of Andy. The world needs to know his history. He keeps telling me he is historical. Or was it hysterical? Oh crap. I really gotta get back in the swing of things.
The owls seem to have left me alone. Are they lurking? I don’t think so. I feel safe.
The damn computer place never called to tell me what is wrong with my computer and I have been too overwhelmed to think of something worth talking about.
…I said to a friend of mine. ‘Apple Olive’ wants to charge me $150 just to diagnose the problem with my hard drive.”
“Thats cheap” he said without skipping a beat.
“oh.”
Panera bread. This morning. I’m attempting not to be late for week. Need breakfast. The idiot woman in front of me had been in line for several minutes before it was her turn. She finally goes up to the counter. Stares at the menu for what seems like 5 minutes. (Andy time is different than real time) She orders. “Egg and cheese on a bagel”
“What kind of bagel?” the clerk person asks.
“Uhhh… oh…” like she didn’t realize she had to answer that question. She stares at the bagels.Â
“WTF??? REALLY WTF????”
Didn’t she know that question was coming? And even if not, doesn’t she know what bagel she wants? And if not, can’t she stand aside and let me go?Â
I don’t know why some people make things so difficult.
She orders an everything. It took her seven minutes to order an everything bagel. Like, in her head, she went though each bagel… “Well, I do like the onion… but I want poppy seeds too, but then again there’s always the raisin thing… I wonder if I can get one with all those things on it…”
Goodness lady. How is it I was born knowing I want everything and you have to think about it?
“Do you remember how dumb I used to be? Well, I’m better now.”
It has come to my attention that today is the day we change to a digital signal for our televisions. I’m gonna miss you my ol’ antenna.
I love diners. But as you know I have a problem with the lack of attention I get at them. So I developed a new game this morning. A game that only works when you pay with credit cards, which I do. See, when I feel I have been wronged at a diner, (and by that I mean I do not get my coffee refilled in a timely manner or do not get my toast WITH my eggs) I am going to give a tip with a random amount of change added to it… for example, instead of giving $2.00, I will give $2.34. BUT I will add it wrong to the tip and walk out before anyone notices. Let them freakin figure it out.