Andrew (Andy) Pagana

Posted by AndyFan: There is not enough time in the day or minutes in the hour, enough sunlight in the summer or darkness in the winter; there are not enough paranthetical thoughts, nor hyphenated words, run on sentences or compound adjectives; there is not enough love to go around, or hate to kill a clown; British people with fancy British voices, American people with too many American choices; grand cars with grand car names; small cars with small car frames, paragraphs that start to sound like Dr. Seuss, thoughts that don’t add up to much, even the poop of a moose; there are not enough strangers to say hey stranger too, nor friends of andypagana.com to count each day anew; in fact there is not enough Andy for you know who, nor enough Andy for me and you; there will never be more than one, never anyone who is more fun; he will always be number one, even if google counts that other one; there will just never be enough.  (Seriously, we don’t even know what this all means, this post is only semi-serious, all but the Andy parts, compound adjectives, poop of a moose, the too many American choices, and of course the parathetical thoughts and hyphenated words.)

I am devastated! Some idiot combined my love for Superman with my hate for sport! All’s I gotta say.. I mean… what I want to say is… uhhhh.. I can’t handle this any more.

Posted by AndyFan: So in conversation with Andy tonight he revealed that he may have an eating problem. It is minor, and nothing to be worried about. At least not yet I hope. And I quote,

“So the other day, National Donut Day, …”

The story went on, of which I heard very little after that. I pondered just how many and what would have happened had there been a Dunkin Donuts nearby.

Just called me cute AND cuddly. Awwww. Thanks Max. I know. I know…

Posted By AndyFan: Technically this is not a response to his response, at least not his response online. Spent some time on the phone with our fearless leader today and among the many varied and sundry (what is a sundry anyway) things that we discussed, several blatantly stated facts were stated, again.

Fact One: Andy hates excuses, as stated by AndyFan on, well, yesterday, “but that is nothing new and Andy hates excuses.”

I bring this up because as I rattled through the list of reasons that I do not bore you, our faithful followers, with but that Andy asked for as to why I have been absent, Andy remarked, “I hate excuses.” My response was, “don’t you read your blog?”

Fact Two: I have been traveling and all over the place as stated, um, yesterday, “I have been all over the place.”

Andy asked me, what have you been doing? Seriously. I almost started to cry. I thought my words meant something to him, but alas (yes, using alas a lot these days, picked it up outside Warshingten) he seems to skim over my stories, or at least forgets them awfully quick.

Aside from that he does make a good point, I am trying. Many times he says very.

Have you ever seen the shapes of the people getting breakfast at McDonalds in the morning?

It’s that you are stupid too. Think about it, Andyfan. Think about it. Especially because she only spilled McDonald’s coffee. You let the precious Dunkin go to waste. But thanks for trying.

Posted By AndyFan: Been on the road lately, ala Awesome Andy. Actually, I have been all over the place, but that is nothing new and Andy hates excuses. I did try to make amends for my scattered appearances, but alas, it did not go as planned. You see, I do not run on Dunkin, though there are typically many in my surrounding area. I feel for Andy, as I have for many years been longing for my teenage source of afternoon sustenance, the El Paso Grande Burrito. Apparently I, being a burrito lover, happened upon a short lived market test of El Paso’s prepackaged delicacies way back in 1989 or so. After five months they pulled the plug (apparently too much real meat made the costs prohibitive) and I was left with the measly inadequate lesser versions that had been around prior to the Grande. But this is not about my burrito, it is about my making amends with Andy for something.

So in my travels I found a Dunkin Donuts right off the highway a hundred miles outside Warshingten. I even asked a fellow D&D fan to take my picture, it didn’t come out quite right though. It was a very spur of the moment decision to stop, but seeing as how this Dunkin Donuts had a drive through I thought I would surprise Andy with a cup of coffee. Now, I wasn’t thinking this one through. If you are all keeping track, which you should be, we are many miles apart (whatever judge) and coffee gets cold. Which brings me to where this story really goes down hill.

As I have this revelation I look up and see that an old woman is about to walk in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes. Now, you may all have seen this coming, but the coffee was in my lap and no longer in its cup. I thought that they made a safety lid after that woman scalded herself with the hot coffee at McDonalds years ago but apparently not. Like many others across this great nation that may or may not run on Dunkin depending on where they live, I thought that woman was an idiot when she sued McDonalds. Why would you put hot coffee in your lap when you are driving? That is just stupid. Seeing as how I do not think myself stupid I immediately started to re-evaluate my perception of the stupid coffee woman. I turned around to start my legal battle. Unfortunately though, you can’t sue over someone elses coffee, even if you paid for it. Weird rule that I never knew about, probably came about after that not-so-stupid-afterall woman won the case years back. As this was Andy’s coffee, I was left with burning thighs and no money for my time. Which brings me back to coffee getting cold, but not quick enough. Sorry Andy, I guess it’s back to Vegas for some D&D.

p.s.-Mr. Miles, while I have been away it seems as though you may be trying to eff with Andy. I am watching you Mr. Miles. And if this Mr. Lee shows up, I am watching you too.

This morning I sat for ten minutes at Mel’s Diner on Ventura in Sherman Oaks and waited for someone to refill my damn coffee. I mean, really… is it that hard to quit yappin with the other waitresses and grab a pot?

Hey Mr. Mills. I think this is the first time my blog is written specifically to one person. Well, it’s not just for you but I’m starting it addressed to you because you have changed my blog today. I was probably going to continue to complain about this sports video I am editing but you made mention of Michael Lee and made me laugh. Ahhh… Mr. Perfect. Funny enough, I have recently been in contact with Michael Lee. That dumb bastard. Ha! I love that guy! I miss the way he always said dumb… “DUUUHHHHMMM!” ha! I’m laughing out loud. Very few people other than me make me do that. So, andyway, between you appearing out of nowhere and then mentioning Michael Lee, I have enjoyed a slight trip down memory lane, which honestly has never really been that far. I wanted to post a picture of him but I couldn’t find one. Well, that’s not true. I know where they are but I’m too preoccupied to get one. So then I was going to place a random picture of you. But again… too much work right now. So instead I give you a picture of my grandma. I love my grandma. I can hear her now, calling me a horse’s ass. Ahhhh. I miss you Gram. I miss you, Mr. Mills. And yes.. Michael lee, I miss you very much too. You dumb bastard. As for the rest of you… well, we’ll see.