Mutiny About
Posted by AndyFan: Andy may own the ship, but I am the captain here people. Word has it, straight from the horses mouth actually, that there are little birdies whispering words of mutiny into Andy’s ear. I don’t know who you are birdies, but watch your bird seed. To fire me is to end this all. Sure, Andy could find another to replace me, but no one will ever adore him like I do (nor answer his 3AM calls). There is a pacing here people. He feels ignored but it is quite the opposite, I have done nothing but think of him the whole time I have been silent. It is for his own good. He grows bored with the same thing over and over and over. Even praise. Well, he doesn’t get bored with it, he just gets bored by the same praise, so it makes it harder to praise him from day to day when he demands more and better praise each morning (and make no mistake, he accepts praise in the afternoon, evening and at night as well). By stepping aside, it energizes him, excites him, gives him a feeling of power, whether he knows it or not. I am working the old Hollywood magic on him. Not this newfangled, adopt a baby every six months, be on the cover of US Weekly weekly kind of exposure. That wears off. People get bored. Soon enough you’re adopting two babies a year and giving birth to octuplets through a surrogate, just to get some attention. And you have so many children that you need to go on food stamps. I am saving Andy work here people, so you need to work with me. Let him know that AndyFan loves him, let him know that you love him for the auteur that he is, not just because he is a blast to have around, otherwise this would just be a big ego trip for him. And Andy is above that. He doesn’t want eight babies stealing his thunder, but he is still above all that. Just ask Andy at me@andypagana.com. Give him time to respond, he gets tons of Andymail.
At least that is the story I am going with today. Since Andy is out of town for a few days I have plenty of time to wow him with the posts to come. Hopefully he will not refute any of this, but if he does, it’s more mileage for me. You did leave already, right?