Andy and Vogel (Michael Byrne)

An interview (I think our first here at andypagana.com).

I had no tape recorder so here is approximately what transpired. (There is some swearing. Sorry) We spent about forty minutes together sitting in a corner of a hotel lobby, near that building from ‘Die Hard’. Here are the highlights. The rest will be printed in my autobiography when I get to it…

Andy: Michael, I am a huge fan of yours, too! You are one of my most favorite badguys. Do you know Peter O’Toole?

Michael: I was in Rome once. Years ago. I had done  some work with him before. I had a phone call. The voice on the other end of the phone said “Michael, have you read the bloody play yet?” “Who is this?” I said. “It’s Peter Peter Fucking O’Toole, you cunt”

Andy: What the fuck happened with Indy 4? 

Michael: (Censored)

Andy: Do you remember me? I saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 8 times in the theatre.

Michael: It doesn’t work that way. You can see me but I can’t see you.

Andy: Pff. Did it hurt when you went off the cliff on the tank?

Michael: No. That was a special effect.

Andy: So… it didn’t hurt? It looked like it hurt.

Michael: It didn’t.

Andy: And I notice that you hold onto the turret even after you have crashed. How did you do that?

Michael: It wasn’t me. It was a miniature of me.

Andy: Wow. Well, it looked like it hurt. Did you have on knee pads or something?

Michael: I wasn’t really there.

Andy: Did Harrison Ford get mad when you punched him and then shoved his face on the tank’s tread? 

Michael: It was acting.

Andy: Are you sure? Because he looked mad.

Michael: I’m sure.

Andy: When Indy was hanging from the tank gun why didn’t you just shoot him? Why hit him with a shovel?

Michael: I did what I was told to do.

Andy: Pfff. Nazis. Always the same excuse. Well, I don’t know how you survived the fall but it was a great stunt. How did you not hit your head on the camera as you fell towards it, screaming? 

Michael: (sigh) I got lucky I suppose.

Andy: You want a cup of coffee?

Michael: No, I’m drinking wine, thank you. I shouldn’t be drinking this. I’m tired. I just got off the plane. I hate flying. 

Andy: Me too. I drove across the country 10 times.

Michael: You guys use planes here like we use cars.

Andy: ‘We’ meaning Nazi’s looking for the Holy Grail?

Michael: The biritsh.

Andy: Were you born there?

Michael: No. Scotland. (or did he say Ireland? Damn it!)

pause

Michael: Who let you in here?

Andy: Schwartzy did. That little guy over there. He saw you and told me you were here and I knew you would want to meet me. Lets take a picture. (Calls out) Schwartzy!!!

(Old fashioned flashbulb pops)

Andy: It was a pleasure to meet me. Thanks so much, Michael. How do you say goodbye in Germany, again? (I wanted to tell him here he had the most amazing blue eyes but I lost my courage.)