Never, Ever, Update!

Posted by AndyFan: Updates are for wussies. Flat out pansy-ass-do-gooders. If you can’t make your Commodore iD-10T circa 1984 work in the year 2011 than it is you who are inferior, not your “equipment.” Andy has for time eternal bemoaned (what exactly is the difference between moaning and bemoaning?) the repeated interruption of life that is brought upon by “updates.” You say, “but how can he have bemoaned it for time eternal, the personal computer is relatively new?” to which I say Ha!! Double HA!!! Nothing is new to Andy. He has been using computers since before Abe Lincoln was in diapers. And he is still using the same one. Been carrying it back and forth to California in his Grand Marquis since before Henry Hudson sailed under the Golden Gate Bridge and declared Alcatraz his prison and locked away all the Dutch. Seriously people, do not update. It only brings unwanted error. Andy has watched the better part of many a day go wasted by trying to update something he didn’t have a problem with in the first place. So what if he kept his car warm with a brick of candles lit up on his dashboard in the middle of the winter while driving curvy stretches of New Jersey mountains along cliff side lakes. Heat, who needs heat? (Stupid DMV) Do not update—it brings on stress of the worst kind. OK, do not update unless it is to give Andy more air conditioning. Air conditioning is the only kind of update that Andy is fine with. Oh, that and the whereabouts of the  nearest D&D in the western frontier. But other than that. Do Not Update!

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