‘America Runs on Dunkin’ my ass!

Lets say this. i like coffee. I have always liked coffee. I am not addicted, i do not drink it every day, I do not need it. It is a comfort however. I drank it as a kid because my grandfather drank it. Black. I drank it college years because I liked the boost. Gene and I would go to Dunkin Donuts and each get large coffees with cream and sugar. (At the gas stations we would get Irish creme in our gas station coffee. We both happened to love that). Living in Colorado I would go with my writing partner to Dunkin Donuts and we’d get coffee and talk about changing the world. My travels took me all over the tri state area and dunkin donuts was always there as my friend. Except in NYC. There were only a few in those days an they BLEW!! That’s right. It was like the kind on the highway – 87 northbound on the way to Monroe/Woodbury. They wouldn’t put the dam sugar in themselves. That changes the flavor. they had a formula. They know the right amount to put in when you say ‘Cream and Sugar’ or ‘light and sweet’. They put it in first, before the coffee, so you didn’t have to stir it. Plus, I liked things ready to go. I hate having to do more work. Give it to me ready to drink. I avoided those Dunkin donutssssss. Then I journeyed west. And where the hell is the damn Dunkin Donuts??? NO WHERE!!!!! Not in California anyway. I can’t even get on their electronic webplace and find the nearest one it is so far away. Yet their slogan is ‘America Runs On Dunkin” WTF?? Seriously. Is California not in America? I know they seem strange out here, and, trust me, I want to ignore these soulless people as much as the rest of the country but really, we HAVE to acknowledge that they are in this union of ours until we can figure out how to get them out. (Maybe give it back to the Russians) Andyway, I have complained about this over and over and over again to andyone that would listen. No one cared. Damn! I even tried to get the California government involved but they don’t feel it is an important slight. WTF?? Seriously. Maybe someone should sue Dunkin Donuts for false advertising. I finally found one Dunkin in California…  north of San Francisco. Bunch of BULL#$%@!!!! Anyway, I happened to be in Vegas several weeks back (See below for photos of the Hoover Damn) and lo and behold… I found one!! Actually TWO!!!! They had not been there last trip through town I assure you!!!! They are expanding to Nevada!!! AWESOME! So I documented the event…


Well, this past weekend I was craving my DandD. I hopped on the road and headed to Vegas, music blasting, sun shining. What a great trip. I found a third one and mixed another passion of mine, the belly picture…


7 Responses to “‘America Runs on Dunkin’ my ass!”

  • Andrew B Says:

    I was waiting for you to bring this up.
    It’s just like how there are no Long John Silvers out here. It’s maddening.

  • Andrew B Says:

    Waitaminute– Google says there’s one (LJS) in Pacoima! Oh, shi! Leaving NOW.

  • Maxie Says:

    Both pictures have the exact same smile…astonishing!

  • Andy Says:

    I am pretty astonishing. Thanks Maxi!

  • Andy Pagana » Blog Archive » The Original 3,552 Ounces of Pure Awesome Says:

    […] questionable when analyzed against our film and television pop culture. Andy does travel often (read America Runs on Dunkin My Ass!, Blue moon of Kentucky, Keep On Shining…, Andy goes to the Boulder Dam, Two Directors, A […]

  • Calvin Miles Says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with your grumblings. In all my trips out west, I end up feeling embarassed to call myself an American when you can’t walk two blocks without spitting on a coffee shop, and yet NOT ONE of them are Dunkin Donuts. Sweet sweet dunkin donuts. Luckily, I don’t travel out west that often. Even more luckily, they’ve been springing up all over NYC as of late. Not so luckily, when my job moved offices a year ago, we moved to the one spot in Manhattan where there isn’t a D&D in easy walking distance. We do have one of the few 7-11’s right nearby though, so it almost balances out the universe. But I digress, will you please deliver me a medium sized Dunkin Donuts coffee with milk and two sugars now please? Did I say ‘please’? Moo you, Andy.

  • Andy Says:

    Ahhh… Mr. Mills. We have yet another thing in common. It is indeed good to hear from you. Meet me in Vegas and we will most certainly grab a cup.

Leave a Reply